| Thursday, April 3, 2008
| More tears
|It was another intense day. Almost the entire school wore black today, and most of us didn't even realize that we had. Today was the assembly, and I cried almost the entire time.
The assembly started out pretty light, they began with a video that showed all of these people at school having a fun time and doing what we do every day, The last thing they said in the video was "And the best thing about Pleasant Grove is..." and then they flashed to intense graphic video from the staged crash yesterday, beginning with a shot of one of the victim's hands dangling and blood dripping off it. I lost it then, I didn't cry yesterday during that assembly, but I sure did today. I couldn't stop crying for the entire next two hours. The video showed everything that happened to the people in the crash at the hospital, how they we're pronounced dead and one brain dead and them telling their parents. It was intense, so intense that I'm still shaking as I write this.
One of the girls I go to church with read a poem that I, and most people know very, very well. It was absolutely heart retching to hear after we had watched the video. It goes like this:
Death of an Innocent
I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom...
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
After that was even harder to handle. Some of the victims, or "Living Dead", read letters they wrote to their parents. the first girl couldn't get past her first word, "Daddy." After that there wasn't a dry eye in the building, in the entire school. Including the macho football players that I happened to be sitting next too.
The rest of the assembly was like that, with parents reading letter they wrote to their children and the parents of the one who was pronounced brain dead who spoke of what that experience was like.
The three of us, I, The Best Friend, and The Other Best Friend, all cried despite the other two's reluctance to do so. We all couldn't handle the fact that something like this could so easily happen, and that we all know people who drink and eventually this could be them. It's terrifying to learn that you're not invincible, that you could die just like that. It's terrifying to know that you have your entire life in front of you and it could end before it even starts.
|posted by Imaginer @ 7:17 PM
| Wednesday, April 2, 2008
| Every Fifteen Minutes - Reality Check
|In response to my mom's post about my reaction after I got home today from school, I can say for sure that it is 100% genuine.
At the beginning of the day I was confused until my first period teacher explained what was happening, when they first played the heart beat followed by the flat line I thought that the PA system was malfunctioning, as it still does that every once in a while. I didn't see The Boy (as mom calls it) after first period but I normally don't so no major concern. My heart was pounding none the less during second period that maybe one of the times that the heart went off was The Boy or The Best Friend being taken away. I first found out that The Boy hadn't been taken during first period when I asked the guy I sit next to in Math (who happens to be in the Boy's class) if anyone was taken during his class. He said yes. Then my heart plummeted to the ground that was until he said that it was some girl that he didn't know. I was instantly relieved it wasn't one of my friends. THANK GOD. The assembly was right after second period and both me and The Boy have math the same period, in the same building and our classes where sitting next to each other during the assembly and The Boy was no where in sight. The entire two ours my eyes constantly darted throughout the crowd seeing if he had just gotten lost in the craziness that was in the mess to get out to the assembly and I had found all my other friends there I knew that they weren't any of the ones taken. Except for him. Through out the day, every fifteen minutes my heart dropped. Knowing that it could have been him. That it might be his call to death, and I feared every time the door might have opened to tell us that one of our class mates had died. Fear carried with me throughout the entire day, but never have I felt more scared than did I feel the moment that I realized that The Boy wasn't in French class.
I had just spoken to him the pervious day and laughed while we talked about how The Best Friend and her ideas contradicted ours, we we're having fun arguing about that. Then we went to our Eagles for Earth meeting and ended up talking about his college choices and everything else that he has to look forward to in the upcoming year. We we're studying for our competition on saturday and ironically enough joking around about drinking and driving.
The moment that The Best Friend and I were out of the French class room we frantically dug through my backpack looking for my phone the only chance we had to know if The Boy was one of the victims. I think I messed up dialing the number twice before I finally got it right and called him. When he didn't answer his phone, that's when the tears started, after all, our teachers had said we wouldn't be able to contact the victims in any way, including by cell phone. The Best Friend and I raced to our Science Olympiad meeting knowing that his brother would be there and he'd have all the answers, still hoping that he wasn't one of them, because he couldn't be it was frankly impossible for him to be, it could never be one of my friends. Right? His brother didn't show up for a good fifteen minutes after both me and the best friend had gotten vaguely hysterical. We had thrown ourselves into our projects trying to distract our minds and emotions from what we were feeling, so much we didn't even notice when his brother came in. The moment it clicked that he had we rushed up to him, demanding to know where on EARTH The Boy was. He told us he was at home catching up on homework, preparing for his Senior Portfolio that is due on Friday. I felt an huge weight lifted off my shoulders and my eyes started to worry, this time no longer in fear but in huge relief. The Boy walked in about five minutes later where he strolled in, not knowing what on Earth had happened today at school and I promptly told him,
"I'm mad at you." several times. He asked why and unable to find the words myself The Best friend said it all for me.
"Because she was scared something had happened to you."
The Boy looked confused.
"You mean about the thing today?"
"Well there's a cemetery you know. In front of the school. You could have checked there."
"WELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT! I DON'T GO TO THE BLOODY FRONT OF THE SCHOOL!"
"You should be."
After that we didn't really talk about it we just hugged and went on back to normal meeting life. The constant bickering at each other and so on. It wasn't until after the meeting when The Boy had left and me and The Best Friend started walking home that we The Best Friend and I started talking about how scared we were when we figured out that The Boy wasn't there. How mad The Best Friend was that The Boy wasn't there,(and she's not particularly fond of him to begin with) and made her so scared and so worried that she started freaking out during class whenever she got stuck on a word that The Boy would usually help her remember.
After The Best Friend went inside her house and I started to walk home I started to cry, really cry. I called my dad to come get me because I knew I couldn't walk home in that state, let alone by myself. When my dad picked me up that's when I couldn't stop crying for a long time. I was practically bawling and there where times throughout the day after I had gotten home that I burst into tears. You should have seen me with the weed eater, I cute the grass with great furry, trying to feed my emotions through that weed eater.
When I talked to Mom about it later I bust back into tears. I think I might again tomorrow at that Assembly. In fact I'm sure I will. Because I can't imagine what I would do without him. Let alone anyone else.
|posted by Imaginer @ 9:59 PM
| Every Fifteen Minutes
|Every Fifteen minutes someone dies from something related to alcohol. Whether it be from drunk driving or from alcohol poisoning.
Today and tomorrow at school we are going through the fifteen minute process. Today every fifteen minutes a heart monitor flat line sound is echoed throughout the school to symbolize someone dying from something alcohol related. A student is pulled out of their class and an obituary is read to symbolize that person dying.
Also, an assembly was held today that showed the total effects of an accident due from someone driving under the influence. And of the students that played the parts, I know most of them from my classes.
This way of informing students about the consequences of drinking I believe is extremely effective. There are times throughout the day that I have almost been succumbed to tears myself, and thankfully none of my friends have been taken, that I know of.
Today and tomorrow are going to be very emotional days for not only myself but many students, and hope that many will learn the consequences of drinking.
The lesson today - Don't drink if you can't be responsible. Don't drink and drive, for you might just not only kill yourself but the lives of innocent people.
|posted by Imaginer @ 11:34 AM
| Tuesday, April 1, 2008
| THE DRESS
so this is the dress I got for prom... it looks a lot better on me than it does on this chica if i do say so myself! But it's so pretty! :D
|posted by Imaginer @ 10:08 PM